Burgess Shrumpf, Anguish Department Talent Aquisition

Burgess Shrumpf has one great talent. He can whistle out of his ear. However, this has never given him the competitive edge within the mind-bending bureaucracy of boggart enterprise. Before attending the Boggart College for the Slightly Underachieving, and graduating Muckhole Cur Louty, Burgess worked as a Flame Tamer, herding venomous Spitsnakes on the desolate plains of Shrym. It was there that his mentor, Petwee the Herp-snatcher, assigned him the task of recruiting others to perform this rather undesirable work. And for the first time since whistling out of his ear, Burgess Shrumpf identified the smallest inkling of passion: finding and convincing others to do his work.

Three odd years later, Mr. Shrumpf answered a want ad for Subterranean Pits and Lairs, LLC in the Anguish Department, with the singular objective of recruiting torturers. His greatest hires thus far have been Spank Mulgorp, ‘Slash’ Dullard, and Fruggle Vel Minken, a six-time employee of the month, and winner of the prestigious Acolyte of Pain commendation, given out each year to one underling by the Regional Underlord Flemwitch Blackwold.

Unfortunately, he is also responsible for hiring Rickety Stitch and the Gelatinous Goo. Needless to say, he is not looking forward to his next performance review…