Dealing With Snotgurgles

Snotgurgles | Rickety Stitch

Snotgurgles are one of the most feared and reviled creatures in the world of Eem. More specifically, Snotgurgles are extremely dangerous to gnomes. Because of this, many volumes and lecture series’ have been published to educate the greater gnome population on how to deal with a Snotgurgle problem. However none is so prevalent as the aptly titled: Dealing with Snotgurgles by S. Margarie Windy.

Miss Windy was a gnome baker’s widow, whose baker husband was cooked in his own oven by a Snotgurgle called: Hammer Toe Joe. In an effort to both avenge her husband and free her community from the rampaging monster, Margarie took it upon herself to hunt down and trounce the beast with her husband’s rolling pin. And she did so.

Her book tells the story in detail, however it is primarily a reasonable guide of various ways to avoid death and torture by Snotgurgle, ranging from simple avoidance techniques to outright Snotgurgle slaying by means of elaborate traps, or even the marshaling of gnomish defense brigades.

Nowadays Snotgurgles are rare, though still high on the priority of gnome education. Perhaps the most important fact, however, is that though Snotgurgles are wholly malevolent, they are also exceedingly stupid. This fact has long been an evolutionary advantage for gnomes and has, for many generations, kept their population mostly safe.