Sack Wine

Would that every wine in the Middle Kingdoms of Eem be of such stiff quality–war, strife, and the troubles of all folk would cease to be.

The first bottled vintage of Sack was created from a long lost recipe by Brynt the Purse-snatcher, a road bandit who intentionally mixed a malty, acidic Wizbury Grape with a psychotropic Shettenpock Norberry to burn through the locks on stolen treasure chests. In any account, bottles of Sack are ancient, and in four and a half thousand years no bottle has yet spoiled.

Though he can’t recall where he developed such a keen taste for Sack, Rickety Stitch will jump at the chance to down a cup. However, it is nigh impossible to find any in the Mucklands, especially on an Underling’s salary, so he is usually resigned to chugging sour grog or jugs of Troll whisky.