The Crown of King Gauld


King Gauld once lorded over all of Grimly Wood before he and his kin were eaten by Golo the Gargantuan. It was at the height of Gauld’s influence that the King decreed a time of plenty, and in so doing, inadvertently summoned the starving Ogre fiend to his doorstep and to his doom.

But King Gauld was an evil king and believed in a world wherein the mighty squeezed the common and the common toiled for naught. Gauld presumed that in such times of prosperity, the industrious nature of folk needed to be driven by the barbed lash and the hissing brand. Grimly Wood billowed with the smoke of smithies and mills. Rivers were over fished, the forest was hunted to the near extinction of the stag, and spoils of the King’s taxations were spent on frivolity and entertainment, absurd excess, and to impress northern fiefdoms. That is, until Golo came.

 Golo the Gargantuan, summoned by promises of innumerable banquets and wanton wagers, lumbered from the eastern hills to slate his ravenous hunger. Upon arriving, King Gauld granted the Ogre an inexhaustible feast, for the King was so impressed with the Ogre’s enormity and wit. So, Golo ate. And he ate with such a gluttony that the King was forced to take up arms to repel the beast, but Golo would not so easily be deterred. So ended the line of King Gauld as his skin and flesh were peeled like the rind of an orange from his screaming, red skeleton–and his still shuttering bones were ground into pink meal and placed into the grand hall’s fireplace to broil.