Turd Burglary

A Boggle turd burglar, hauling his prize to sell on the black turd market.

A Boggle turd burglar, hauling his prize to sell on the black turd market.

To most, the term “turd burglary” would evoke revulsion and confusion. Oftentimes, merely uttering such a phrase will cause a room to erupt with laughter–that is, of course, unless you are a Boggle.

Boggles are not the smartest of Eem’s many creatures: they are sometimes savage or silly, and generally cowardly, but when it comes to the subject of turds they are the world’s foremost scholars. Boggle culture thrives on refuse and the discarded, and in the case of turds, Boggles are master architects. Utilizing troll dung more than any other kind, they construct remarkably elaborate structures in which they live, work, and thrive. So when it comes to turd burglary–that is, the act of stealing another’s poop–Boggles show no hint of laughter, and they show no mercy.

Because so few Boggles throughout Eem are actually free of oppressive goblin masters, the act of turd burgling–which at its core disrupts the very harmony and foundation of Boggle society–is akin to murder. Often a culprit will be banished from their smelly village, or worse: tied to the highest twig atop the tallest tree in the forest as food for falcons. Boggles that commit turd burglary who are not immediately banished or put to death may also be placed into mason jars and sold off to Bogril Boggle-mongers, who by their namesake sell captured forest Boggles to the highest Goblin bidder to toil as peons in one of the great subterranean tunnel networks of the industrialized Underlands.