Unicorn Dander

Unsurprisingly, unicorn dander is one of the most coveted animal byproducts in Eem. Unicorns are considered mythic for both their majesticism and magic amongst common folk and faeries. However, amongst Goblins, the mysterious dander also represents perhaps the greatest hypocrisy in all of Boggartdom.

Goblins are not superstitious and strongly believe any sort of wizardry to be a cheap parlor tricks, that is, save for one particular instance: unicorn dander. Intriguingly, Goblins perceive unicorn dander to have mystic properties, to the point that there are entire underground movements driven by the sole focus of gathering and marketing the substance, with the same fervor one would apply to hunting the most valuable gems in the deepest caverns of Shar.

Many of the most accomplished Goblin bureaucrats, reigning supreme beneath the crumbling world of the Dungeon Era, believe staunchly in the power of unicorn dander. And these beliefs are ludicrously variant and silly. Anything use for unicorn dander one could imagine has been applied in some fashion–generally by knobby, Goblin misers. Some machinations include applying unicorn dander to mortar, specifically to activate the perfect building material for endless underground lair-building. Adjacently, its believe that  when applied to oiling tar, unicorn dander will exponentially strengthen tar into a steel-like solid used as a pliable, easy to apply substitute for fortified walls. But in other cases, the dander is mixed directly into metallurgic recipes as a method to bond to impurities and eliminate the brittleness of any metal–thusly making the material as bendy and pliable as a river reed.

In terms of medicine, Goblin applications get even stranger. One such example is that of the Great Miser, Fat Forgweth the Goblin Lord of the Middle-Route Maw. Now, Fat Forgweth was at one point the richest Goblin in Eem, lording over the great tunnel network that lies just beneath the Middle-Route Run, wherein Boggart rail-networks move building materials from the Used T’Be Forest all the way to the southernmost Mucklands. Wealth and power were at his fingertips as readily as his favorite sack wine, but his obesity was becoming a problem and his Boggle ‘heaver-gaggle’ were no longer capable of lifting him. In a desperate attempt to lose weight, Forgweth scoured the land for unicorn dander and applied it to every meal in the form of a soggy mash. However, after about a hundred helpings on his first day, Forgweth began showing bizarre symptoms and mutations. By day’s end, the Great Miser had sprouted flowers from his head, roots from his toes, and howled for more and more wine. That night, in a maddening race, his trusted Boggles planted their transmogrifying master into a small garden, where by morning he’d grown into a dagger-tongued, and most disastrously vocal fruit tree.