Relics

The Remains of Norleen Fuddle

Sitting atop L. Nerman Fuddle’s mantel are the remains of his grandmother, the great Norleen Fuddle. Norleen Fuddle was a single mother to duodecuplets, an incredibly rare occurrence, following the unfortunate demise of her husband Marfin at the hands of Boggart marauders. She raised them all to health and prosperity, while harvesting pumpkins and breeding alpacas in eastern Dingledell. The seventh and last boy, Kerman Fuddle, married Pilli Winkymelon, eventually giving birth to Nerman, an only child.

Nerman’s memories of his grandmother are few but everlasting. He can remember the sweet, warm aroma of her renowned kumquat boffleberry pies; the dulcet tones of her lilting laughter, always ready to find humor in the mundane and tragic; the disarmingly soft touch of her calloused hands; and the impressive brute strength she exhibited when she single-handedly defended the Fuddle homestead from a pack of bloodthirsty wereweorgs, cracking their necks, and sending their vile, corrupted souls to irredeemable doom.

“She was a special lady,” Nerman often mutters with a wistful smile, as he sits by the fire.

The Monstrous Portraits

The monstrous portraits that hang on Golo’s tower wall above his throne of bones, depict his beloved Ogre-kin. On the left is his brother Kurgonn the Earth-Gnasher, on the right his brother Oomek the Sea-Drinker, and in the middle his mother Gordak the Progenitor. Long ago, Golo originally commissioned the renowned Felmog artist Rognir Helgot to paint them, but found that Rognir was taking too many liberties, and straying too far from the Ogre’s descriptions. Golo found the end result so distasteful, abstract, and unlike his family that he swallowed the artist whole, without a even a bite.

Thirteen different artists were subsequently commissioned, all whose individual styles and contributions still remain present on the massive canvases to a discerning eye. But the last artist, Iflee Hangknapper, a Boggart specializing in pet portraits, was the only to survive the task. And while she survived the task, she did not survive her stay at Castle Lake; Golo became so enamored with her work that he made her paint night and day, trapping her in a jar with an easel, so that she couldn’t escape. But one day, Golo awoke from a particularly long slumber to find poor Iflee Hangknapper suffocated and dead from toxic paint fumes.

The Iron Maiden of Emok The Redonkulous

Once employed to squish the Duchess of Queeg, this Iron Maiden was most notably owned by Emok the Redonkulous, a rival Boggart noble hell-bent on settling an argument over the authenticity of his heirloom powdered wig.

It came into the possession of Lord Orfong by way of an estate auction, wherein Emok’s valuables were sold off at deep discounts following his untimely death: when his wig got caught in the Maiden’s teeth, and his head became–as the coroner put it–“irrevocably munched by the most irony of ladies.”

Due to the neglect of the dungeon’s underling janitorial staff, the device has been decommissioned on three separate occasions to repair a “faulty doohickey.” At least that’s what went into the official maintenance reports. But it’s widely rumored that the ghost of Emok himself threatens a curse upon anyone who would clean the last fibrous remains of his powdered wig from the teeth of his Iron Maiden.